The other day a good friend of mine sent me a stand- up comedy video: Post- Coitus Press Conference by comedian Patrick Haye. The guy is seriously hilarious but that is beside the point. The guy got me thinking about post-coital after –glow manual adopted by some guys.
Post coital after- glow in my manual is when a guy starts asking you questions that honestly pisses most women off in most cases: did you come? Is on the fore-front (eye roll) did I hit it right? (Ego- stroke much?) I mean guys come on!
No woman wants to be asked if they had an orgasm while you sweating beside them. It suggests your pleasure is more important than theirs. In most cases, the guy involved is so wrapped up in his own satisfaction that the woman’s response ain’t that important. I can attest to the fact that, when a woman says she didn’t reach her big O, the guy would probably not follow-through and polish the woman off to get her to come. And you wonder why sometimes women fake orgasms.
Most women do not like faking it. But most men have made it hard for women to explore their sexuality and enjoy it too. It is high time for men to get off their high horses and ask women what they need to do for them to attain that elusive orgasm. They need to know sex is quid pro quo. Men need to stop assuming that what gets one woman off applies to another woman. Don’t assume. ASK!
Women always ask what a man requires to reach his pinnacle of pleasure. It’s not a given. Pleasure needs to be worked for. It isn’t just plucked all ripe and ready. Forget those porn stars that scream like banshees and make you think women can be switched on and off and they will yap and play to any music you put for them. That is not how real life works.
The case of Female Orgasm- Bias in the Science of Evolution, a book by Elisabeth Lloyd, a biologist and philosopher, explores the question if a female body is designed for orgasm during sex. The simple answer is NO.
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The statistics on the book clearly indicate that 25% of women have always, 75% have sometimes and 25% have rarely or never orgasm during intercourse. This is the exact opposite of 98% per cent of men who always orgasm during sex.
Men it is a new era where the modern day woman needs to be treated as a cognizant being with her needs and desires. She needs not to stroke your ego or prowess in bed without you earning those praises. You need to meet her half-way or by embracing the reality that is glaring right at you.
Reality says that it is perfectly normal for a woman not to have an orgasm. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm. You want to give her that orgasm, work it both ways- PIV (Penis in Vagina) plus clitoral stimulation. Penis size has nothing to do with a woman’s satisfaction. The key to most women’s pleasure is tied to direct stimulation using fingers, your tongue or even sex toys. Riding a woman for long isn’t that important as most men think. Don’t get me wrong. A man who can stay on for long is a good thing. It is pleasurable. But it does not mean the woman will come. And sometimes it is okay not to have penetrative intercourse. There are pleasurable ways to ensure both of you get satisfied and come.
To ya’ll guys who got them balls to ask a woman did you come? Why don’t you up your game instead? Get off your pride, sit your woman down, ask her what gets her off and take some notes. Bet she would be the one talking about how you penetrated the defense like a pro and scored them goals flawlessly.
Featured Image. Standard Media