To the woman who takes it all from a man, I salute you.

I salute you for turning a blind eye when he cheats.

I salute you for taking all the beatings and still say I love you with a straight face.

I salute you for always covering up all his faults by making excuses for him. You know when you always say, he didn’t mean to hit you. He just got angry because you decided to have an opinion.  Besides, men get angry with sassy women. It’s African culture. Blablabla!

I salute you for always having a cover up story when he doesn’t turn up when he needs to. You know when you get sick or something and he needed to be there? Or when you just needed to talk because it was one of those horrible days? But for some wacked up reasons he was MIA. But for the life of you, you just let it go. I mean he had some business to take care of and besides, you weren’t that sick or needed to vent that much. He comes first. I salute you for that kind of selflessness.

I salute you woman for always giving him husbandly rights. Hahaha. It’s pretty laughable come to think of it. You cook his food, warm his bed, listen to his shitty self when he mops around. You even comfort him. You like the epitome of the best girlfriend ever. I salute you truly. I really do. I mean you really are awesome. Damn! Yet, you take it in when he says with a straight face when you meet up his friends that you are a good friend. I really salute you.

I salute you when he emotionally abuses you and still, somehow, you don’t see it. I mean he just had a bad childhood. Poor thing, his previous girlfriend was really hard on him. Can you believe that ex even had the nerves to just take advantage of him? She would just take and take and never give anything back. She even took advantage of his love and asked him to borrow some money in the bank for her. And she ran away. Now, I have to go easy on him. I mean am just giving him what she stole by over compensating and giving him passes when I am not supposed to. I salute you. I really do. Never mind that he keeps taking from you emotionally even financially. But poor thing. He is still recovering. So much for being the rebound. Or the baggage gal. It’s cool. Who’s complaining anyway? I salute you.

I salute you for having the guts of swallowing your pride and apologizing to him when he cheated on you. I mean what right did you have going through his phone in the first place? What gave you the right? And anyway, Maureen and Racheal are just friends he says. You tripping by overreacting. You such a chick!  He says. I totally salute you for being the one to say I am sorry babe. I shouldn’t have touched your phone to begin with. And you really believe he wouldn’t cheat on you. To hell with your sixth sense. Woman, I salute you.

I salute you for letting that man you’re into or even married to disrespect your family. I salute you for letting him distance you from them. After all, they were taking advantage of you he said. In the end, your family don’t want anything to do with you. You kinda just stopped muttering. I mean isn’t that what you made them feel in the first place? I salute you.

I salute you for letting him decorate your face with bruises. I mean where would you go anyway right? Yes, you are the Managing Director of a firm but so what? He stays at home, you feed him, cater for his needs but you can’t do without him. He is your life. And anyway, the church talks about praying and praying about your problems. He will change eventually. Never mind the fact that last time he almost killed you. Your neighbors, save their amazing souls rushed you to hospital on time. Woman, I really salute your tenacity.

I salute you woman for sticking it out despite knowing he is a poor excuse of a man. I salute you for letting him disregard you in front of your friends. I salute you for getting raped every day in your matrimonial bed and somehow you always have a smile on your face in the morning. I salute you for breathing in, exhaling and taking it all in. I truly salute you.

I salute you for being strong. I salute you for loving so much until the line between self-love and romantic love are inter-changed. I salute you for always putting up a fuss. You know when you make those silly excuses? I can’t live without him I will just expire immediately! My kids need their daddy. I can’t let them grow without him. Never mind that he doesn’t pay attention to them when he is around. But above all, I salute that woman who hides behind prayers in order not to deal with the reality. My take, God helps those who help themselves. I still salute you.

I salute you! I salute you! You inspire the laughter in me. You inspire the respect of self in me. You inspire my aspirations in marriage, in men even career wise. But above all, you inspire me to seek self-love and the knowledge that it isn’t that bad to be a lone woman standing. Why? Peace of mind perhaps? You inspire me to look at the bible even; in a realistic way. You inspire me to question societal norms even. I salute you woman. I really do. Because of you, I inspire to put boundaries that lead to standards and in turn, RESPECT. Respect of self and demand the same from others. Thank you!

I salute you woman for being you. For never questioning or never asking. For just taking it all in. Never mind the tears, heartbreak you go through. Never mind the depression that makes you want to hang. Never mind how much he drains your mojo. Never mind that you are beautiful, talented, smart and amazing. Never mind that you know your worth and his in your life. Never mind that you can actually be independent, not dependent. Never mind that along the way, you shoved your pride, dignity and who you were in some closet. Who cares anyway? You don’t. Why should anyone do? I still salute you.

I Salute you!

Read>>One Night Stand! – Part 6, 7 & 8

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The Flip Side is a Kenyan lifestyle blog covering human interest stories. The Flip Side is a publication of TechTrends Media Ltd. Send tips to
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