What Marriage Should Mean to You

When I think of marriage what comes to my mind is: vow, sanctity and eternity.

I believe in a marriage that a vow means a promise. Sanctity stands for holy and God is a major player. And eternity, a representation of standing by my spouse no matter the huddles or tempest that may cometh our way.

In our generation, I feel peeps take marriage like kalongo longo. You know how you were a kid and you will pretend to be a dad or a mom? It sucks to see young people getting into marriages for the most inane reasons. To top it up, it’s not even an actual marriage. It is come-we-stay. You know what they call trial marriage nowadays?

My vehemence has no limits here. How dare they (people who are married without knowing why), take marriage so lightly, tarnish something that was meant to make man and woman in the eyes of God as one into sublimely nothing!?

My heart weeps each day as I hear Gathoni or a Maureen got married at eighteen or nineteen because they couldn’t keep their legs shut or use contraceptives and now they are pregnant. Who said marriage should be used as an excuse to nurse or nature pre-adolescent girls into “women’’? Or be used as an excuse to bring innocent babies into the world to be cared for by a couple who coupled together for all the wrong reasons?

Marriage is not a mockery nor is it an excuse to have a grandiose celebration. Marriage is not for the weak hearted who the concept of sharing, acceptance, being one with another is a foreign concept. Marriage should not be used to trap a man who thinks you are a freak in the first place. Matrimony is not a bank account or a representation of security because he/she is loaded.

If you ever take your nuptials, as I am hoping one day I will, make sure you taking them for all the right reasons. Say, is he the guy you can respect, honor above others? Do you love him because he makes you feel gooey inside? Can you stand his flaws? Can you see yourself getting old with him? Having a healthy relationship where mutual love, understanding and acceptance co-exist?

Listening to Classic FM in the mornings makes me bash the society we living in literally. When did marriage becomes such a distasteful and a torrid affair between a man and a woman? When did a man think it’s okay to disrespect his wife in front of his kids and think it was something to be proud of? How can you strip your wife before your kids and hail abuses at her – saying she is a poor excuse of a woman? When did a man think beating his wife was a macho boost?

Going through the bible, I come across so many verses referencing to marriage. One thing that I feel stands out for me is, a man and a woman when they come together, they are one in the eyes of God. A couple should in essence love and honor each other and treat their marriage as a sanctifying affair. Marriage is a gift from God to mankind. It is meant for intimacy and simply love. Anything else is a sham.

Before you take that step (if you ever), be honest with yourself. Why you getting married? Are you willing to make holy your marriage by honoring the vows you will take? Are you in it for all the right reasons? As my dad always tells me, marriage is not an easy thing. He married my mom and he loves her and she is always going to be his headache.

On that accord, before you take that step, think. Are you willing to let another be your headache in the bondage of matrimony?