If you are wondering who Cyprian, Is Nyakundi is, he is simply a controversial blogger who yaps lots of nothings about women but says much about his fellow men indirectly(especially those who support his ideologies): that they are weaklings, inadequate, insecure, control freaks who get high by putting women in their places by practicing misogyny and sexism.
Contrary to the common definition that misogyny is hatred towards women, misogyny can be viewed as social systems where women face hostility and hatred because they are women in a man’s world while sexism is a manifestation of a sexist ideology where gender roles are enforced in a patriarchal society- where male dominance is emphasized through social structures that exist.
In many developing countries this is so ingrained that the people involved, do not see it as an issue but a normal cadence in their lives. The United Nations Commissions and the Status of Women estimate that 35 per cent of women worldwide have experienced either physical or sexual intimate partner violence by a non-partner at some point in their lives with some national figure indicating 70%. Worldwide, over 120 million girls have experienced forced intimacy with people they know like, their husbands, boyfriends and partners as the recurring perpetrators. Men’s entitlement is so deep-rooted that sexual harassment and violence is normal. No one sees anything wrong with it even the women who are the victims.
Not too long ago, Nyakundi had the effrontery of belittling rape when, Adele, the morning breakfast show presenter at Kiss FM, came out as a rape survivor in a bid to fight sexual violence against women. He trivialized it by actually saying who would want to rape someone like her. This is a clear indication of how misogyny has been ingrained in our society that a woman speaking out of such a horrid experience is met with indifference simply because she is a woman.
Nyakundi posts have consistent themes to them: belittling of women, violence against women, sexual objectification, hostility, patriarchal mentality and social exclusion. To him and his followers, women are meant to be heard not seen. They are meant to stick to women interests. They are not meant to aspire to more than kissing the ground men walk on. They are not allowed to act as if they have a brain but rather, as beings that are biddable and are there to serve the male interests. In the mind of a misogynistic man, a woman is nothing without a man; she can’t accomplish anything without a man.
The first time I read Cyprian posts, I realized he was on a prowl to bash women who were on the limelight, women who were doing something worthwhile with their lives apart from being breeding mares or wives- their basic assigned gender role. To him and all of his followers, they couldn’t have acquired success by working hard, rather, by sleeping through the corporate ladder and by having powerful sponsors. By those remarks, he had demeaned hard working women on so many levels. He was just not attacking those women; he was attacking every woman who was something than just her traditional gender role. And he was just the vocal centre piece for all those men who felt the same about women defying the patriarchal systems by giving it the middle finger.
Misogynistic men feel the need to control and punish women who challenge male dominance. They feel they are superior to the female specie on every level and any woman, who dares to challenge the status quo, destabilises the system and they feel the need to put them back in their places through any means.
Misogyny is backward thinking. It takes us back to a patriarchal order by putting men on pedestals and lashing out on women who dare to challenge male dominance.
Women who challenge men’s power and authority, decline to serve men, worship the ground they walk on or flatter their ego, are perceived as cold, selfish , negligent and lacking in attracting and holding a man’s interest. This kind of mentality can be traced back to patriarchal orders where men were dominant regardless of the hierarchical classes.
Misogyny teaches the boy-child to aim for less and be comfortable by being mediocre. It allows the boy-child to think he deserves anything by the virtue of being a male. It forgets to teach them that, gender roles don’t matter anymore. That one is supposed to be judged by their value not the pre-dominant factor, male or female. That they don’t get to have freebees because they feel entitled. Or get to be worshiped, their ego boosted while they got nothing to show. Misogyny is the contributing factor for entitled assy men, who want to have an excuse to just exist and ride on the male factor than what they are capable of. And any woman who dares to challenge this aspect, she is lashed at for her nerve by being labelled a, feminazi, witch slut, bitch, slay queen, among other things.
The other day, Farida Karoney, was appointed the CS of agriculture. The media was rife with these news. But rather than focus on her achievements in relation to the post, they were dissecting her previous sexual indiscretion, posting her nude photos, judging her with this standards, especially men. They had a lot to say and it was nothing positive. Rarely would that have happened if she were a man. In Kenya, patriarchy is the norm and no one seems to mind, thus the rise of people like Nyakundi who have a massive influence in the young people, feeding them sexism, overriding the fact those misogynistic tendencies are not something to be encouraged but abhorred.
It is high time we start being vocal and aware of unconscious biases and cultural norms that promote sexism, misogyny and patriarchy by undoing ties that ensnare people in the belief of self entitlement. Men need to be morally educated that women are just like them, they actually have fully functioning faculties and that they are their equal and they have no reason to think or believe women are challenging male dominance by going for the same opportunities and privileges. And it is also high time for women to know that, they do not need to internalize patriarchal values that promote misogyny and sexism.
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