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Her Secret – Part 1,2,4 & 4

Part 1

The call came in at 10 am. She had missed it. It was him.

She debated on what to do. “Don’t call or text him. You promised you won’t!” Her conscious reminded her viciously.

“But-“

“No buts,” it interrupted incisively, “You know what that jerk ass wants. I am so tired of how sorry you feel for yourself afterward as I always have to watch you battle your damn self.” She definitely got what her conscious was going on about. Her reality though wasn’t her best friend.

“Hi. How you doing?” She found herself texting instead. “I just got your missed call.” Crap. She hated the hopelessness that filled her after sending it. She abhorred how she couldn’t tell him to go fuck himself as she always craved to do. She needed what he offered. Her circumstances made sure of it- at least that is what she told herself.

Her phone chimed two seconds later indicating a text had come in. “I have missed you,” it read. It was from him. There was never much preambles with him. He always went straight to the point.

“Same here.” She couldn’t bring herself to say the same words. They felt distasteful. They made her want to gag.

“That’s good to know. What time are you getting back from school? I want to pass by.” So much confidence she would see him. He never expected her to say no. It was all about the power play for him, and besides when had she ever said no?

“The usual time.” She responded.

“Good. I will call you when I make the turn near where you live. Later.” That was the sum total of their conversation.

She knew what he was coming for. He always called for only that. How she wished she could just say no. But she couldn’t afford regrets- It was damn expensive. Besides, she had already sealed her fate like so many other times with her last text. Her appointment was at 8.30 pm that evening and that was that.

 

Part 2

She was seated at her brother’s single room on a plastic chair biding time. It was 8 P.M.She was glad to be home. It had been a rather awful day. The lectures had been grueling. She sometimes wondered why she had chosen to do law. As a 2nd year student at Mount Kenya University, she had started to feel the strain of what it entailed to pass the bar and be a fully-fledged practicing lawyer. All considered though, it was worth it, despite the sacrifices entailed.

She could hear the cars passing by the highway. The television droned in the background. Annett, her pretty 22-year-old full figured sister- in- law, was cooking their meager supper that consisted of ugali and sukuma wiki on the gas stove. Intermittently, they exchanged flippant conversation with her 24-year-old brother, who was lying on the two and half single inch mattress bed. His back lay on the headboard as he tried to listen to his wife and watch TV at the same time. Their three-year-old son was busy playing with his green truck toy car. They were a happy single unit family despite it being a come-we stay-marriage.

She was by default part of their family. She slept on the next adjoining room. They lived in Kibera in one of the many mabati houses along the Southern by-pass. She had grown there since she was a kid. Eventually, her dad had bought the houses they had been living in for the longest time. They were about ten rooms in total. They occupied five of them while the rest were rented out. Her dad, a retired businessman, had relocated to Ushago to be with his wife after his ventures had not borne to fruition.

Feelings of melancholy whirled unfettered inside of her as she contemplated her life in general when his text popped up interrupting her thought process. “Hey, I have just made the U-turn on the road. Meet me at our usual place.” It was around 8.25 pm.

“Okay.” she responded as she stood up from her usual sitting position at the door.

Her face as blank as a sheet of paper, she told her brother that she was just stepping out for a while and Annett, should just reserve her plate if she may. “Okay sawa. Usikae nje for long. Unajua si poa“, her brother, warned. She internally rolled her eyes as she told him she won’t. He always treated her like she was the last born while ironically, she was older than him. She loved him for his protective nature but if he only knew what she was about to do… No it wasn’t the time to think like that. Or she won’t pull it through.

 

Part 3.

He was already waiting for her at the usual place. She could see the black Subaru sports car parked on the edge of the by-pass near the first gate of the Upgraded Slum Units. Without wasting any more minute, she got into the car.

The smell of the car always hit her like a fist. It smelt like cuddled milk and something close to smelly feet. She stifled her face from showing any reaction. “Hi, how have you been Jess? It’s been forever.” Caleb greeted her, with a bear hug. He always acted like he cared.

His musky scent engulfed her. He always smelt like expensive soap and some designer perfume. Thank God he didn’t stink like his car Jess thought suppressing her repulsive shudders. It was bad enough she had to be here but it would have been revolting if he stunk too.

“Hi Caleb, ” she returned his hug with a pasted smile on her face.

“It has been a while, Jess. You look well. How have you been and school too?” Shifting gears, he got back on the road. She hated the shop talk. It was just a preliminary to what was to come.

“All is good Caleb. I can’t complain,” she replied giving him long sides look. He wasn’t an unattractive man if she was being honest with herself. Caleb Nyakundi was a 38-year-old divorcee. He had divorced his wife some months later after they had met. He was 6’0, well built with a miniature potbelly. He usually shaved his hair which gave character to his chiseled lean clean-shaven face and penetrating eyes.

Caleb was a businessman, with his own water company in Kileleshwa and had invested in real estate too. Sitting there, she couldn’t help thinking initially how stupid she had been to be impressed by that and who he was. He had seemed nice, a mentor to be. Only that he had had other ideas.

 

Part 4

She felt his hand slither on her thighs as the car took off at moderate speed. So it begins, Jess, thought blithely. She was supposed to be used to this by now but she wasn’t. His hand on her thighs touching her possessively made her want to cry. Oh dear God, why was life so unfair? She despaired.

His hands excitedly squeezed her thighs painfully, “I love your thighs. I missed them.” Caleb said, offering Jess, a half smile filled with desire.

Yeah right. I bet you tell that to all the gals you have. Jess’s thoughts, were turning darker by the minute. It’s not like she really cared what, Caleb, did. She just hated the pretense. But two could play the game.

“I bet you did, Caleb, as I missed you. How was your trip to Mombasa?” He had travelled earlier in the week to check out his water business in Mombasa – something about expanding there.

“It went well. Just that I am still tired from the trip. But all worked out well.” By now, his hand had moved from, Jess’s, thigh and it was wondering to the center of her thighs. She never wore any panties or bra when meeting him. He hated wasting time on foreplay. It was too much hustle he had said one day.

She stilled as she felt his finger penetrating her opening. It hurt. She wasn’t wet. Rather, she was as dry as a stick. He didn’t notice.

“Open up your thighs baby. Yes just like that.” He moved his middle finger inside of her, penetrating her forcefully. Without preambles, he started pumping in and out of her. His eyes in the dim light of the highway lights reflected ecstasy. He threw glances on the road alternating on, Jess’s, face trying to gauge her emotions. “You like that baby? I feel you are getting wet down there for me.”

Like? Hell no. I hate it. I hate you. I hate your hands deep inside of me. I feel like you are an intrusion. And am not wet! Jess, screamed internally with disgust while vocally, she made excited noises. Those ones he loved. She had learnt to fiddle his desire so that the ordeal will not last long.

“I love your pussy. I wonder what you will feel like.” He really had a dirty mouth. “Can you just imagine me inside of you? Wewe naweza kukumanga vibaya sana – especially bila CD.” God forbid that she, Jess, do something so stupid.

Since she had met, Caleb, in late 2015, she had never slept with him yet. So far it had just entailed these sordid sprees in his car. She was thankful to God for, Caleb, stalling the inevitable. And also his other clande(s) for giving to him real good that so far, he hadn’t shown any indication of wanting to go all the way.

He parked the car at some intersection. His hand was still inside of her. It hurt so much. From previous experiences, she knew she will be sore in the morning. He fingered her mechanically and left bruises. It always felt like a sledgehammer had been used to pound her inside.

Satisfied with the way he had parked the car, he turned fully towards her. Jess, could feel her mask coming on as an amour. It was the only way to go. Sitting before him, was another woman altogether. This woman was mechanical, calculative, determined and detached from her emotions.

She felt, Caleb’s, other hand now on her breasts. He was pinching and grabbing them, his breath coming out in grunts and sighs of pleasure. From afar, she witnessed the woman seated next to the 6’0 foot man opening his fly and removing his half aroused member. She felt distaste coiling inside of her heart like a snake about to lash out.

The man beside her was warming up to the session. She could see him helpfully shoving his trousers and boxers out of the way as he kept himself anchored to the woman’s boobs in a vice-like grip. She was reminded of a kid who did not want to stop suckling her mother’s breast. How amusing in an ironic way she couldn’t help thinking.

The man besides that shell of a woman was praising her breasts. “You have the most amazing matiti. They are big but firm.” He moaned with pleasure painfully caressing her, his eyes glued on them. The woman squirmed uncomfortably but the man beside him took it as a sign of want. He was out for his pleasure. Jess felt sickened. But the woman down there in her place, acted like she loved every bit of it. She was moaning and caressing, Caleb’s manhood, to full erection like her life depended on it. Or maybe it did.

“Suck me baby,” Caleb groaned moving Jess’s head down to his waiting shaft.  She took him deep into her mouth almost gagging. She felt his pre-juices coat her tongue with saltiness and tanginess as his soapy scent mixed with her saliva. She felt bile rise in her mouth with the mingled tastes. Removing her mouth from him, she sat back as she petted him trying to swallow the bile back. As it receded, she attacked his manhood with new vigor.

Jess, could see the woman’s determined energy as her head went up and down, Caleb’s, man part. How could she stand going down a man who disgusted her? And was she moaning as if in throes of passion? It seemed all crazy. Maddeningly so.

“Put some teeth on your sucking. Yes just like that. Don’t stop. I can feel myself almost there,” Caleb, directed between sighs of pleasure. “You so good, do you love my dick?” he asked. Jess made some noncommittal sound, which, Caleb took for praise, of his manly endowment. “You really know how to give a BJ. I can’t wait for the day I will fuck you. How many rounds can you go?” He asked lifting Jess’s head from his little man.

He wiped his manhood. “Why are you doing that? “The woman with, Caleb asked with surprise. He had never done that before. She needed to be done as soon as possible.

“Because I don’t want to come yet,” he answered back, his face a map of sweat and flashed ecstasy. How many rounds can you go?” he repeated his question again.

Caressing his balls, “As many rounds as you would want babe,” she responded with a far way look in her eyes. After all, this wasn’t Jess but the other woman born from her armor.

“I like that,” Caleb, said bringing her head back down on him. “Make me come”. And she did. Licking and sucking him from his balls to his length, she alternated between fast and slow measuring on how he moaned or held her head fast and hard. She could see his butt was half up in the air as he shoved himself in her mouth in greedy thrusts. She took it all in despite her gagging reflexes almost disappointing her; one or two times she had to swallow back the bile rising in her throat.

As she was about to start wondering if she had lost her touch, he started to come. He shoved himself deep down inside her mouth and stilled. She could hear him from a far moaning and grunting with his release. It was over finally. She removed his head from her mouth with a pop sound and swallowed his juices. It usually was the hardest part as he looked to make sure, Jess, didn’t spit it out. He said it made him feel like a man every time she swallowed.

“That was good Jess,” Caleb announced, as he cleaned himself up and righted his clothing.

“It was a pleasure, Caleb. You know I like attending to you,” the woman in the amour coyly replied giving, Caleb, a lusty smile before dropping the amour.

Jessica re-emerged from somewhere in her subconscious. She was aware she felt dirty and used but now was not the time to think about that. Caleb was back on the road ready to drop her off.

The drive back was usually filled with either silence or, Caleb, confiding in her about his problems. Today was not different.

“You know Nakumatt is going down. They haven’t paid my company money for supplying them with water. I am so broke. The other day I didn’t even have money to fuel my car.” Jess was only half listening. This was his way of telling her he was not going to be giving her any substantial money. Fuck! She needed some money for the week’s transport. “How much do they owe you?” Jess asked in a lifeless voice.

“They owe me 8 million. I wish the manager will just pay me a quarter of that money. It will really help.” She was sure he kept talking but, Jess, had zoned out completely. Instead, she was looking outside the car’s windows. The street lights shone brightly as they went back the way they had come. She glimpsed Kibera coming to focus as the car reduced its speed and came to a standstill where it had picked her up initially.

As a ritual whenever, Jess, was about to alight, Caleb, will dig into his pocket and give her some money-like a whore she always thought. Who was she kidding? She was a whore; Caleb’s whore, to be precise. He sure treated her like one.

“Here. Take this Ksh500. Today I don’t have money but I will be sending you some in the M-Pesa. It should cover your tomorrow’s fare.” Jess, took the money – as she always did. Wasn’t this the reason she could never say no to him? Why he would call and despite herself answer back?

“See you soon, Jess. It was nice seeing you.” He always dismissed her like that.

“Sure Caleb.” With that, she climbed out of the car. Her demons began chasing her immediately demanding atonement. She had nowhere to hide. There was only one way to repay them and damn, did, Jess, hate submitting and being beaten to a pulp by the same conscience!

Part 5 coming soon 🙂

Read>>When The Itch Needs Scratching

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Florence Kimuyu

Florence Kimuyu is a lover of literature and anything artistry. She fancies herself as a sapio who has a penchant for the crazy, fun things in life with a twist for the morbid and fascinating dilemmas of life. Aside from that, she is also convinced, the only way to fight social and cultural stigmatization and backward thinking is yanking the horn where it hurts the most (in this case, where it matters)
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