The real reason why people cheat in relationships

I know this topic has been talked about across, over and beyond a thousand times. But no matter how much information is available out here about cheating and the emotional damage it causes, people still cheat. Even as you’re reading this, there are people somewhere cheating.

What people may not understand is that cheating is more mental than physical. This is why it becomes so hard to recover from being cheated on, it messes up your emotions. You start to wonder what is wrong with you, what is it that you did or did not do, are you not attractive enough, and a whole bunch of questions that you cannot find answers to. 

I think it would be a fair comment to say that nobody deserves to be cheated on no matter what. The consequences run far much deep than the reason. If you are not happy or are tired of your partner, do the honorable thing and break up with them. They will appreciate that you loved and respected them enough to not cheat on them and they will thank you for time management for not waste theirs. 

From my own research and understanding of the science/art of human behavior and interaction, I have come to acknowledge that people cheat because they are still unaware of themselves. Self-awareness is such a common and simple word to say and write, but it’s the hardest to decode. When you are not self-aware, you neither know who you are nor what you want; you are living on autopilot and everything goes for you; you will sail wherever your ship takes you.

A partner who understands themselves from a personal level and knows exactly what they want in a relationship and life in general, will never cheat. There is a saying that goes….’’how you do one thing is how you do everything’’. In this context it means that if you cannot be faithful in your relationship, you will not be faithful in other aspects of your life. If you cannot commit in a relationship, you will not commit in other areas of your life and the cycle goes on and on and you eventually get trapped in a vicious circle. 

Self-awareness is being pushed to the core, having every reason to cheat and not do it anyway because you’re on a certain level of awareness and you too well understand the outcome. Many a times, people who cheat put the blame on their partners but I think it’s time to look inwardly. Cheating does not just happen, it is premeditated and between premeditation and the action, there’s a choice. So, someone who cheats made a choice to do it. 

If you’re a cheater or the one who cheated, you need to ask yourself why you did it. You need to really soul search and find out what is it within you that gravitated you towards that action and make peace with yourself. Apologize to the person you cheated on and if they forgive and take you back, do not do it again. If they forgive and let you go, accept your wrongdoing and continue working on yourself, not for the next partner but for you. 

Lastly, when getting into a relationship, date first and get to know the person. Be with people whom you are on the same level of awareness and this goes for friendships too. Because after everything is said and done, it is your virtues and values that will define you. Before you get into a relationship, work on yourself first and you will attract what/ who aligns when the time is right and when you get there, keep improving and building yourselves both as individuals and as a couple. 

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