Sometimes at night when I masturbate to release the tension and get an orgasm, he is the one I always picture at the end of it. Only with him have I ever felt any sexual satisfaction. Or that mind gripping passion that threw me into a vault where he and I only co-existed.
In my lonely moments, or after a frustrating sexual spree, I always remember him. He is like a ghost who haunts me – constantly always there to remind me what it was like.
I moan out with release and I want to call out his name. I whimper at the end of it. And I want to ball my eyes out with tears as he isn’t there to hold me or sex me up as he used to. But one time, he was and it was really good. Not only good but, passionate, crazed and on top of the freaking world.
Let me start from the beginning. His name was Max. I met him through a bunch of friends while bonding over picnics and hikes. He was the guy I saw and never had much to talk about. Max was a good friend to a pal of mine called Faith. So when we had get- together, she used to invite him to tag along.
The several times I chanced to check him out, I thought he was a good looking kinda guy. He was TDC (Tall, Dark, and Cute). He was on the lean side but muscular with this easy air about him. And he was friendly with awful jokes that we all cracked on. Aside from that, I never thought much of him. Max was Faith’s friend. And that was it. Not until one day it all changed.
In the spirit of keeping up with a new acquittance and all, we happened to chat one day. As we caught on, we realized we actually had some shared interest. The next thing I remember, is us deciding to hook up to go for a picnic.
It was meant to be an innocent picnic between two acquittances. You know, where you just hook up to get to know each other and that’s it? But sometimes the heart can act up and have it’s way. You see, I fell irrevocably in love with him before the end of the picnic.
I know it sounds crazy but I did. It just happened. One moment we were just talking, laughing and acting all friendly when I felt a tag on my heart. ‘He was the one’ my heart whispered. ‘You have to have him, Jane’. It persisted. I think and still believe it was a case of love at first sight (sort of) or better yet, love at first sight after getting acquainted better.
His easy laugh, smartness, ambitions, got to me. It echoed in my being and I wanted him real bad. I have a bad habit. For me to know I like a guy, I have to picture him in a sexual way. If I can’t, it’s moot. You are a no go zone for me. The more he talked, the more I started having this freaking visions of me being all over him. I knew there and then, I would do anything to possess and have him. He had to be mine. Fullstop.
I can confess for a fact, before the end of that picnic, we were having this smoldering looks for each other. There was a certain sexual tension between us. I can say I provoked the situation. Back then, I had a way with me. If I turned my freak on, it scalded whoever was near its heat. Poor guy he didn’t see it coming.
I remember we decided to chuck and be done with picnicking about 6ish in the evening. We were to walk to the CBD from Arboretum. By then, we were openly flirting with each other our hands clasping as we walked. It felt natural to me walking with his hand holding mine. By then, I was feeling hot, excited and bothered. I wanted to kiss him real badly.
Suddenly, same .as were walking, I slowed my steps making him do the same. Turning him halfway, I made him look at me. Eyeballing Max straight up, ” What If I want to kiss you right now would you let me? ” I asked daring him with my eyes. I felt his hands still in mine as he looked at me contemplatively. Deep in his eyes, I could see he thought I was joking.
Without waiting for his acquiesce, I turned on him, raised myself on my toes and dragged him down on my waiting lips. When his lips touched mine, I felt scorched literally. I know it sounds cliché but it’s true. I felt butterflies in my stomach.
His lips were soft and moist. I let my lips glide on his softly, tasting him. He tasted good. I could taste some of the coke he had consumed earlier. I was in cloud nine. But I had to get a hold of myself. We were on a freaking road and people were passing us while staring. I didn’t care. I wanted more. But I had to pull back.
His eyes were at half mast. He looked at me with shock and amazement in his gaze. And you know that look that tells you, the other person was getting into whatever was happening. He didn’t think I could do it. But shit just got real when he least expected.
I tagged on his hands indicating we should continue walking. I chanced to look up at him and I found his gaze riveted to me. He was still in shock that I had dared to kiss him. He hadn’t seen anything yet. My inner tigress had just been unleashed and she wanted to play.
Crap! She was a gonna for Max and it wanted to be appeased by him. It kept chanting, ‘Now! Now! Now!’ I had to restrainedly beg my inner tigress to let off for the moment. In turn, I promised a go at Max before letting him off the hook.
It was around 7 pm when we reached the CBD. During the long walk, we had talked about everything and anything we could think of. But we had a companion now. Sexual tension. It was charged between us. There was no denying I had gotten under his skin. I loved it. I mean I was in love with him already!
We boarded a fourteen seater matatu and we happened to sit at the back. It was nearly empty. The only occupants were sitting up front on the three upfront seats. So pretty much we had all the privacy we could have wished for. At least I thought so gleefully as I let my inner tigress out to play.
We were seated in silence, our hands touching. My heart beat rapidly and loud in the silence. Or so I thought. I could feel through his body language he wanted to kiss me. He was hesitating though. His clammy fingers squeezed mine.I fancied it was him acknowledging he felt the same but he wasn’t sure about making the first move. I didn’t have such qualms. Making sure the three upfront passengers were minding their businesses, I leaned towards him and he met me half way. Fancy that? It was on.
Kissing him, I have to say for me, was a whole new experience. It was incomparable with the other two kisses or so I had experienced. Max’s kisses made me feel hot and wanton. Back then, I didn’t know how to describe that feeling. I wanted to let loose. I wanted to be reckless. His kisses made me want to tear his clothes up in a frenzy. I wanted to literally eat him up whole.
Our lips glided on each other. I flicked my tongue on his lower lip grazing it with my teeth lightly. I felt his tongue prodding me to open up. I gladly did so. Out tongues got entangled up. By now, armone of arms was on his lapel while the other around his neck ; my boobs squashed on his chest. I didn’t care by now if the other passengers knew what we were doing. I was caught up in a storm. And that storm was Max with his delectable mouth and panty removing kisses. He could really kiss. And I wanted those kisses all over me.
What was I thinking? My rational part peeped. Get a grip! It whispered urgently. I didn’t want to. Like a petulant kid, I wanted my cake and eat it too at that moment. I didn’t wanna reason if it will give me a toothache or not. It was worth it. Oh Max… What were you doing to me?
Why was I feeling like I wanted to moan real loud and shove Max down on the seats grind on him? Why did I want to leave an icky at Max neck after laving it thoroughly? Why were my nipples so hard and achy? And down there, I could feel myself getting all wet and hot . Damn!
All these reactions, I had never experienced them before because of making out. It’s not like we were heavy petting or anything. Just the basics. Just tonguing each other like we didn’t want to come up for air.
Max hand had snaked at the back of my neck while the other was wrapped around my back in a tight grip. I loved his musky scent as he gripped me tighter deep throating me by now. I returned his administration with favor. Out tongues dueled each other as we held on.
“Stage ya mwisho! ” one man seated on the three seater shouted. We jumped apart instantly our bubble broken. We alighted as Max paid him. I hadn’t caught my breath yet. I could see the three passengers trying to get a good look at me. All along, they had known what we were doing. I stared right back at them. I was too happy and aroused to really care. I flipped them over, as Max took my hand in his and walked away from the stage.
It is important to note at this stage I was in a euphoria. It was like I was high on some dope and it was doing a number on me. I wanted more. I wanted Max. And I had to have him.
…….Part 5 coming soon 🙂
Florence Kimuyu is a lover of literature and anything artistry. She fancies herself as a sapio who has a penchant for the crazy, fun things in life with a twist for the morbid and fascinating dilemmas of life. Aside from that, she is also convinced, the only way to fight social and cultural stigmatization and backward thinking is yanking the horn where it hurts the most (in this case, where it matters)