Lifestryle

Home is where the heart is, welcome to Bondo – The Flip Side

 

My shagz is in Nyanza…not Kisumu..y’all who are of the skul of thot that all Luos hail from Kisumu take note…Nyanza is big, there is more to it than Kisumu.

Bondo is the name of the place, about 50km west of Kisumu. Our ancestral home is located just off the Bondo highway, someplace called Kapiyo. Now when you alight here you will meet boda boda operators who will ask you in smooth luo,’Omera ithi kanye? ‘(bwana where are you going to?)..each homestead is known around here by name, ours is KA-olunya and a paltry fifty shillings for a boda ride to the homestead.

During the short ride, the boda guy will try engage you in cheap talk, you see luos from this side are social creatures, every opportunity is spent making friends, especially when they notice a slur in your speech,a sign that you have not been bred around. It is taboo here to pass anybody regardless of their nature without mumbling a casual greeting…a greeting like,’oimoro jaduong’ to the elders is a sign of utter respect.

The path leading to our place is bushy, that’s why at times peeps from this side call each other ‘jobungu’ (one from the bush).

My grandma, attends to the compound every day and makes sure the ‘chiel’ (fence) is well trimmed. The inhabitants here aren’t that many, with most of them long gone into the city or deceased. The compound here consists of seven houses and other thatched structures.

Welcome to Bondo, where men are measured by the size of their egos, we have egos no doubt, egos that can be served in a plate, that’s how big…not nonchalant and indecent ego’s like Migunas. We value education here, it’s the epitough of success, Maranda high school which lies here echoes that sentiment resoundingly. We fish a lot, it comes by default I guess coz the great Lake Victoria is the main source of water, we farm too and embrace change, like the cut for example, but one is not judged here by the cut, it’s a personal decision that is well respected too.

Raila’s home is here, as so is P.L.O Lumumba’s. You will seldom meet an illiterate persona here coz we believe in the power of civilization, we love our women dearly and would die for them, Legio Mria and Catholics dominate the religious scene.

You haven’t been to Bondo if you haven’t visited our beaches, Osieko, Usenge, Got Agulu. In Usenge you will probably eat Mbuta or Omena…dare I say, they serve the best Omena down there. Another delicacy here is ‘OJURI’ I don’t know how to translate that so all non-luos u will have to ask for the meaning from other credible sources…it has a funky nightlife to boost. Osieko is where you will find men and women bathing in the lake, as children wash utensils nearby. Nakedness here is not shunned, yeah we are proud like that. Got Agulu is a good hippo watching spot.

Bondo town is the home of some of the most staunch Gor Mahia supporters, it’s more than a club here, it has near cult like following and the green jersey is adorned religiously with funky names such as JAKOM, JABONDO, JAUSENGE, NYAKWAR DANI, ANYAM NYOTHOCHE all praising their place of birth, their moms or grandmas.

The town has exotic watering holes where visitors or anybody with money to blow will have to go…here is where the affluent frequent..and judging by the English thrown around here, you have to be learned…I’m talking Cambridge learned or Harvard learned..yeah that’s how we roll.

We are a peaceful lot here and give our dead proper send-offs by partying their memories away in the name of disco matangas. Our women have a##, like Nikki Minaj a##…you can do several turns if u were to measure them by wheelbarrow-fulls, bum is king anyway, who doesn’t love bum? We listen to Ohangla more than we pray, it’s the national anthem down here and our local artistes/bands are revered here, they are gods in their own rites…belting one tune after the other.

We are natural athletes, we play football and rugby but the latter dominates, most of us are naturally dark and tall, a gift bestowed to us by our ancestors. We are ambitious and don’t take bullshit from anybody and are easy like that..so if you feel you need a breather from the hectic city life, grab the next available bus down this side and have yourself one heck of a vacation, besides it’s good to learn a new lingo..coz,u neva know really.

Featured image credits Georges Oluoch Auma

Billy Omondi
Darwinian because in this world Darwin wins, not Einstein. Believes dreams are akin to your last breath.

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